The Fall of Brandenbrass
While I'm still too mad at my computer to work on "Expansion", I did muster up the courage to write this: The Fall of Brandenbrass It is set in the same timeline as "Expansion", but not at the same...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
It's a neat idea to describe the fall of the city through the eyes of a soldier who's just trying to catch a little R& R. One thing I'm wondering: what is his rank? The clerk's question is mildly...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
I had anticipated every one of those questions, and was planning on making the next "chapter" a short explanation of things. Which I believe I'll do now... Do remember a Mr. Rookwood? My intention was...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
I'd say the story is coming along very well! A few thoughts, to be taken with a hefty grain of salt :) * The explanatory chapter is helpful for explaining background to the reader. I'd try to work it...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
*I'll consider some changes to fit it more to the tone of the story. *I did notice this myself, but was unsure of how to approach it. Your examples helped alot. *My intention was that he was doing...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
The second chapter fits in much better now. Gerrymund's run through the city feels far more active than before. The only phrase that's jumping at me as a bit awkward is 'Gerrymund used his eyes to...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
I have more interaction among the troops planned in the next chapter. I haven't forgotten that point. Even if he was offered a new uniform, I doubt he'd accept it. The colors are everything to a...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
That's a good point about the uniforms. Especially at the start of the Revolutionary War, most ot the American militiamen didn't have uniforms at all. I agree with you that there'd probably be a sort...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
I decided to release 3 and 4 at the same time as two short chapters. They're out now.
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
Yay! I'll try to read them this weekend and share my thoughts. Thanks, Wolf!
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
I liked your dialogue in Ch. 3. I think it's realistic that the soldiers would be saying just one or two sentences to each other at a time like this, right as they're preparing to attack. You did a...
View ArticleRe: The Fall of Brandenbrass
Your fire breathing foe is AWESOME! Is he a surgically enhanced lahzar or some kind of monster? I immediately got to wondering whether such a being could exist, and I think he's entirely plausible....
View Article
